LGBTQ

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning - find out more about sexuality and gender identity.
Gay

This page is for Everyone!

You do not have to be LGBTQ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning) to look at this page or find out more information. 

Crucial: It is estimated that about 10% of people are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

If you or someone you know thinks they might be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender please do not worry. Many people identify as LGBT. Sexuality is something personal to you. But if you do need to talk, there are lots of options.

Crucial: You can discuss your feelings about sexual identity or sexuality, with your School Health Nurse, who can also help with questions of sexual health and more. 

Sexuality - LGB (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual)

Sexuality describes who you are attracted to, love and have relationships with. Gay men and lesbian women are attracted to people of the same sex. Bisexual men and women are attracted to people of either sex.

Some people know they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual from an early age. Some people find out when they begin to have feelings for others. Some people may find that who they are attracted to changes as they grow older, or when they meet new people. Some people go through periods of not being attracted to other people.

Being unsure is normal!

Crucial: You can find out more about LGBT+ community and services on the www.lgbtoxon.uk website.

Gender - Transgender

Transgender people identify their gender in line with their inner-self rather than with biological and/or physical features of their body. For example, a transgender man may have been born with female reproductive organs and hormones but internally identifies as being male.

Transgender people may partly or completely transition (change) to become the gender that they identify with. They may change their clothing and appearance as well as change their name and legal identity in order to identify with their gender. Some transgender people may chose to also have surgery in order to change physical aspects of their body.

Lesbian Couple

I think I might be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender

If you want to talk to someone, there is lots of help and support available. 

Many people find that a good first stage is to talk to a friend or adult that you trust (for example: teacher, youth worker, sports coach). 

You can also get in contact with LGBT youth groups. There are several in Oxfordshire which offer support and also run fun drop-in sessions.

Take Action:

Topaz is an LGBT youth group which runs in Oxfordshire.Link up with Topaz on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TopazOxfordshire  or Twitter @Topaz_LGBT to find out more, ask for support, and arrange to go to the next meeting

 

My Normal is an LGBT youth group which runs once a month in East Oxford. Email: MyNormalOxford@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page for more info.

 

Oxford Pride holds an annual Parade and Festival in May/June with events throughout the year, and have youth officers who you can contact to assist with any enquiries.

My Normal Oxfordshire has made a documentary about being LGBT in Oxfordshire:

My Normal documentary- 2015

Take Action: You can read the magazines GT (Gay Times) and Diva on Zinio using your computer, smartphone, or tablet. You need to have an Oxfordshire library card.

People say I'm gay or say mean things about my gender

If you are a young person who is being bullied because of sexuality (homophobia) or gender (transphobia), this is not OK. Any kind of homophobic or transphobic abuse is wrong - whether you identify as LGBT or not.

It is also wrong and hurtful to say nasty or mean things about gay or trans people. It's reported by 97% of young LGB people that they regularly hear insulting homophobic remarks at school. (Source: Stonewall, Education for all) This makes them feel bad, even if the remarks are not directed at them. 

Take Action: If someone in your class or group says bad things about LGBT people, you can help everyone if you challenge them. Here are some good challenges:

Saying "gay" to mean rubbish or bad isn't acceptable.

That's homophobic language, you need to say it better.

Using that negative language insults real people.

You need to show respect in your language for people who are different.

Sometimes when people are using homophobic or transphobic language, or you are being bullied because of gender or sexuality, it is not possible to challenge the behaviour. Your safety is important, but it is also important not to let people get away with bad behaviour. Reporting bullying makes the environment safer for everyone and helps protect people in the future. 

Homophobic and transphobic bullying is as unacceptable as any other sort of bullying. Whether you are in the workplace, in a club, out and about or in your school, it should be reported, taken seriously and stopped.

Crucial: You don't need to be LGBT yourself to challenge homophobic or transphobic language or behaviour. Everyone can help make the world a safer and friendlier place. 

For more information about bullying or what to do if you are being bullied please visit the Oxme Anti-Bullying Pages.

Definitions

Homophobia is a word that describes negative attitudes and views or discrimination towards people who identify as lesbian, gay or bisexual. It also includes negative attitudes and views towards people who others assume or think are lesbian, gay or bisexual, whether or not they actually are.

Transphobia is a word that describes negative attitudes and views or discrimination towards people who identify as transsexual and/or transgender. It also includes negative attitudes and views towards people who others assume or think are transsexual and/or transgender whether or not they actually are. The discrimination is based on negative views of gender identity.

Discrimination - To discriminate means to treat someone unfairly.

Instant expert: Crimes committed against someone because of that person's sexual orientation or perceived orientation are called homophobic/transphobic hate crime - find out more, including how to report a crime.

Sex and safer sex

The age of consent for gay men is the same as for heterosexual couples, sixteen.  If a woman has sex with a girl under sixteen she can be prosecuted, under different laws.

Before you have sex, you need to know about safer sex, consent and the law. You should still know about how to use contraception to avoid pregnancy, as even if this is not a concern in your current relationship. This will help you support friends, and be ready if a future partner is opposite sex or trans.

Any sexual contact risks transmitting or catching HIV infection and other Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Find out more about Sexual Health, or visit Sexual Health and Contraception Oxfordshire for advice, support and clinic information.

Respect and Relationships 

When a young person starts having relationships, there is a risk of being targeted by adults or other young people who will abuse them. Young people who are LGBT are also at risk of child sexual exploitation. Young men are also at risk of child sexual exploitation.  

At any age, respect in relationships is really important. Learn to spot the signs of Domestic Abuse and insist on respect.  

My experience: coping with isolation

Being gay can be quite isolating. I don't live in a big cosmopolitan city, I didn't know anyone else who was, or thought they were gay. Realising there are groups of young gay people, for young gay people, feels really good. You know you're not alone. You know you're going through what they're going through. You know all you have to do is pop along one day and meet them all in total confidentiality, whether you're out or not. I found it really helped. Just making new friends, meeting new people, and, better than that, it meant I could start being me and doing things I'd always wanted to. It gave me a safe place to go just 'be' gay, however ridiculous that sounds  - Anon, Way Out (LGBT Youth Group)

My friend has come out - what can I do to support them?

When a friend comes out to you as LGBTQ, you might have lots of feelings. You might feel shocked, confused, or even angry that you didn't know sooner! But your feelings are something for you to deal with. What your friend needs is for you to listen, support, understand and be happy for them. It's fine to ask questions, but respect it when they don't want to answer. Everyone's journey is different!  

This video can be really helpful if you want to ask questions, but aren't sure if they're too personal. In it people who are trans give answers to questions people have asked on google about being trans. 

Trans People Answer The Most Googled Questions About The Trans Experience

Comments

Hello
We are been referred to you by the London gender intelligence.
And I was wondering if there was any groups that me and my family can attend as my youngest daughter believes she is transgender and we believe a family group talk with a member of your team would be beneficial to us a a family.
Thank you and look forward to hearing from you.

Hi Sally,

Oxfordshire does not currently have any groups for parents and families of transgender children.The kind of support you are seeking is probably best found by referral through your GP.

Our Anti-Bullying Co-ordinator, Jo Brown, has a few parents she is in contact with regarding transphobic bullying within the county. These parents may be willing to form a support group with you. If you wish to speak to her or take part, her email address is Jo.Brown@Oxfordshire.gov.uk

Mermaids UK is a national organisation which can offer advice and support for parents, and direct support for teens.

MyNormal and TOPAZ are local youth groups for teens which support LGBT+ people.

Oxford Friend is a local organisation which has a phone line and email support for LGBT+ people.

TransOxford is a local group which might also be able to point you towards support.

This should give you enough to get started on. Please don't hesitate to contact us again if you need any more information.

Kind regards,

Ellen Gersh

Hi,
I've recently come out as transgender but I'm not sure what to do next, could someone help me by pointing me in the right direction?

Thanks for your comment Nick, you may find the NHS Choices page on Gender Dysphoria useful. This explains the first steps towards transitioning. There are also a variety of links on the page to support groups, these are all supportive of transgender individuals, and can provide more information. If you are under 25, I would urge you to get in touch with our local youth groups, which are very supportive and inclusive. You may also find this information on Mermaids UK useful.

Hi again,
Following my last message here.
I want to know how I should explain this to a doctor, I'm unsure of how to approach this, can someone advise me on what is the right thing to say?
Thanks
Nick

Hello Nick,

We would suggest that the best people to talk to would be TransOxford as you will be able to get information from people who have gone through the transitioning process themselves.

Thank you.

I am writing to you regarding a PHSE Day we are arranging for sixth formers in Bicester on 29 November 2018. We would like the day to focus on PHSE issues that are relevant to this age group and you have been recommended as providing excellent training about the differences between gender and sexuality and promoting positive attitudes.

The training will take place at the Cooper School in Bicester but we hope to have students from all three schools in the town attend the event. The idea is that they would rotate round a series of talks in groups so it is likely that you would need to give your session several times. Could you also indicate how many people you could include in a group.

Do you have a lesson plan for this age group that you could share with me so that I could better understand the issues you might cover and whether you might be available on this date.

Regards
Rosie

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