LGBTQ

This page is for Everyone!

You do not have to be LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning) to look at this page or find out more information. 

Sexuality is something personal to you. But if you do need to talk, there are lots of options.

Crucial: You can discuss your feelings about sexual identity or sexuality with your School Health Nurse, who can also help with questions about sexual health and more. 

People have an individual experience of gender and sexuality, and this needs to be respected. 

Sexuality 

Sexuality describes who you are attracted to, love and have relationships with. Gay men and lesbian women are attracted to people of the same sex. Bisexual men and women are attracted to people of either sex.

People who identify as pansexual are attracted to people regardless of their gender, sex or presentation. People who don’t feel sexual attraction to either sex or that don’t feel romantic attraction in the typical way may describe themselves as asexual or aromantic.  

Some people know they are lesbian, gay, or bisexual from an early age. Some people may find that who they are attracted to changes as they grow older, or when they meet new people. Some people go through periods of not being attracted to other people.

Being unsure is normal!

Crucial: You can find out more about LGBT+ community and services on the Oxford Pride website.

Gender and Transgender

Transgender people identify their gender in line with their inner-self rather than with biological and/or physical features of their body. 

Transgender people may partly or completely transition (change) to become the gender that they identify with. They may change their name and pronouns. They may change their legal identity in order to identify with their gender. Some transgender people may take hormones or have surgery to change physical aspects of their body.

Some people identify as non-binary as their gender identity doesn’t align with ‘man’ or ‘woman’.

I think I might be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender

If you want to talk to someone about thoughts and feelings about sexuality or gender identity, there is lots of help and support available. 

Many people find that a good first stage is to talk to a friend or adult that you trust (for example: teacher, school health nurse, youth worker, sports coach). 

You can also get in contact with LGBTQ+ youth groups. There are several in Oxfordshire which offer support and also run fun drop-in sessions.

Take Action:

Topaz is an LGBTQI+ youth group which runs in Oxfordshire. It runs all over the county, linked to different youth groups, and supports young people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, unsure or questioning. Find out more about Topaz here. Link up with Topaz on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TopazOxfordshire or by emailing topaz@ark-t.org to find out more, ask for support, and arrange to go to a meeting.

 

My Normal is an LGBTQI+ youth group which runs once a month in East Oxford. Email: MyNormalOxford@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page for more info.

 

Oxford Pride holds an annual Parade and Festival in May/June with events throughout the year, and have lots of opportunities to get involved for all ages.

My Normal Oxfordshire has made a documentary about being LGBT in Oxfordshire:

Take Action: You can read all sorts of magazines, including LGBTQ titles like Gay Times and Diva, through Oxfordshire Library Services on your phone, computer, or tablet through an easy-to-use online app. You need to have an Oxfordshire library card.

People say I'm gay or say mean things about my gender

If you are a young person who is being bullied because of sexuality (homophobia or biphobia) or gender identity (transphobia), this is not OK. Any kind of homophobic, biphobic or transphobic abuse is wrong - whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or not.

Take Action: If someone in your class or group says bad things about LGBTQ+ people, you can help everyone if you challenge them. Here are some good challenges:

• Saying "gay" to mean rubbish or bad isn't acceptable.
• That's homophobic language, you cannot say that.
• Using that negative language is insulting and isn't okay.
• You need to use respectful language when you talk to people.

Sometimes you may feel it is not possible to challenge behaviour. Your safety is important, but it is also important not to let people get away with bad behaviour. Reporting bullying makes the environment safer for everyone and helps protect people in the future. 

Whether you are in the workplace, in a club, out and about or in your school, it should be reported, taken seriously and stopped.

Crucial: You don't need to be LGBTQ+ yourself to challenge homophobic, biphobic or transphobic language or behaviour. Being an ally is really important. Everyone can help make the world a safer and friendlier place. 

For more information about bullying or what to do if you are being bullied please visit the Oxme Anti-Bullying Pages.

Definitions

Homophobia is negative attitudes or discrimination towards people who are, or who you think are lesbian, gay or bisexual. 

Biphobia is negative attitudes or discrimination towards people who are, or who you think are bisexual or pansexual.  

Transphobia is negative attitudes or discrimination towards people who are, or who you think are transsexual and/or transgender.

Discrimination - To discriminate means to treat someone unfairly.

Instant expert: Crimes committed against someone because of that person's sexual orientation or perceived orientation are called homophobic/transphobic hate crime - find out more, including how to report a crime.

Sex and safer sex

The age of consent is sixteen for everyone. 

Before you have sex, you need to know about safer sex, consent and the law. You should still know about how to use contraception to avoid STIs and pregnancy, even if this is not a concern in your current relationship. This will help you support friends, and be ready if a future partner is opposite sex or trans.

Any sexual contact risks transmitting or catching a Sexually Transmitted Infections (STIs). Find out more about Sexual Health, or visit Sexual Health and Contraception Oxfordshire for advice, support and clinic information.

Respect and Relationships 

When a young person starts having relationships, there is a risk of abuse. Young people who are LGBTQ+, like all young people, may also be at risk of child sexual exploitation. 

At any age, respect in relationships is really important. Learn to spot the signs of Domestic Abuse and coercive control  and insist on respect.  

My experience: coping with isolation

Being gay can be quite isolating. I don't live in a big cosmopolitan city, I didn't know anyone else who was, or thought they were gay. Realising there are groups of young gay people, for young gay people, feels really good. You know you're not alone. You know you're going through what they're going through. You know all you have to do is pop along one day and meet them all in total confidentiality, whether you're out or not. I found it really helped. Just making new friends, meeting new people, and, better than that, it meant I could start being me and doing things I'd always wanted to. It gave me a safe place to go just 'be' gay, however ridiculous that sounds  - Anon, Way Out (LGBT Youth Group)

My friend has come out - what can I do to support them?

When a friend comes out to you as LGBTQ+, you might have lots of feelings. You might feel shocked, confused, or even angry that you didn't know sooner! But what your friend needs is for you to listen, support, understand and be happy for them. It's fine to ask questions, but respect it when they don't want to answer. Everyone's journey is different!  

This video can be really helpful if you want to ask questions, but aren't sure if they're too personal. In it people who are trans give answers to questions people have asked on Google about being trans.