LGBTQ

Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning - find out more about sexuality and gender identity.

This page is for Everyone!

You do not have to be LGBTQ+ (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender or Questioning) to look at this page or find out more information.

Sexuality is something personal to you. But if you do need to talk, there are lots of options.

Crucial: You can discuss your feelings about sexual identity or sexuality with your School Health Nurse, who can also help with questions about sexual health and more.

People have an individual experience of gender and sexuality, and this needs to be respected.

Sexuality

Sexuality describes who you are attracted to, love and have relationships with, for example, people who don’t feel sexual attraction to either sex or that don’t feel romantic attraction may describe themselves as asexual.

Some people may find that who they are attracted to changes as they grow older, or when they meet new people. Some people go through periods of not being attracted to other people.

Being unsure is normal!

Crucial: You can find out more about LGBTQIA+ community and services on the Oxford Pride website.

Gender and Transgender

Transgender people identify their gender in line with their inner-self rather than with biological and/or physical features of their body. Everyone's experience is individual, but changes may include:

Changing name and pronouns
Changing legal identity
Some transgender people choose to take hormones or have surgery

Some people identify as non-binary as their gender identity doesn’t align with ‘man’ or ‘woman’.

People have an individual experience of gender, and this needs to be respected.

I think I might be lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender

If you want to talk to someone about thoughts and feelings about sexuality or gender identity, there is lots of help and support available.

Many people find that a good first stage is to talk to a friend or adult that you trust (for example: teacher, school health nurse, youth worker, sports coach).

You can also get in contact with LGBTQ+ youth groups. There are several in Oxfordshire which offer support and also run fun drop-in sessions and projects.

Take Action:
Topaz is an LGBTQI+ youth group which runs in Oxfordshire. You can link up with Topaz on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TopazOxfordshire to find out more, ask for support, and arrange to go to a meeting.
My Normal is an LGBTQI+ youth group and arts project. Email: MyNormalOxford@gmail.com or visit their Facebook page for more info.
Oxford Pride holds an annual Parade and Festival in May/June with events throughout the year, and have lots of opportunities to get involved for all ages.

My Normal Oxfordshire has made a documentary about being LGBT in Oxfordshire:

Take Action: You can read all sorts of magazines, including LGBTQ titles like Gay Times and Diva, through Oxfordshire Library Services. You need to be an Oxfordshire library member.

You have the right to feel safe

If you are a young person who is having difficulties because of sexuality or gender identity, this is not OK. Talk to your teacher or school health nurse.

Support is available whether you identify as LGBTQ+ or not.

Take Action: If someone in your class or group says bad things about LGBTQ+ people, you can help everyone if you challenge them. Here are some good challenges:
Saying "gay" to mean rubbish or bad isn't acceptable.
That's homophobic language, you cannot say that.
Using that negative language is insulting and isn't okay.
You need to use respectful language when you talk to people.

Your safety is always important. But it is also important not to let people get away with bad behaviour.

Reporting bullying makes the environment safer for everyone and helps protect people in the future.

Crucial: You don't need to be LGBTQ+ yourself to challenge homophobic, biphobic or transphobic language or behaviour. Being an ally is really important. Everyone can help make the world a safer and friendlier place.

For more information about bullying or what to do if you are being bullied please visit the Oxme Anti-Bullying Pages.

Discrimination

Negative attitudes or discriminations towards people who are or who you think are lesbian, gay or bisexual is called homophobia.

Negative attitudes or discrimination towards people who are, or who you think are transsexual and/or transgender is called transphobia.

These and other forms of discrimination are illegal and unkind.

Instant expert: Crimes committed against someone because of that person's sexual orientation or perceived orientation are called homophobic/transphobic hate crime - find out more, including how to report a crime.

Sex and safer sex

The age of consent is sixteen for everyone.

Before you have sex, you need to know about safer sex, consent and the law.

You should still know about how to use contraception to avoid STIs and pregnancy, even if this is not a concern in your current relationship. This will help you support friends, and be ready if a future partner is opposite sex or trans.

Find out more: about Sexual Health, or visit Sexual Health and Contraception Oxfordshire for advice, support and clinic information.

Respect and Relationships

When a young person starts having relationships, there is a risk of abuse.

Young people who are LGBTQIA+, like all young people, may also be at risk of child sexual exploitation.

At any age, respect in relationships is really important. Learn to spot the signs of Domestic Abuse and coercive control and insist on respect.

My experience: coping with isolation
Being gay can be quite isolating. I don't live in a big cosmopolitan city, I didn't know anyone else who was, or thought they were gay. Realising there are groups of young gay people, for young gay people, feels really good. You know you're not alone. You know you're going through what they're going through. You know all you have to do is pop along one day and meet them all in total confidentiality, whether you're out or not. I found it really helped. Just making new friends, meeting new people, and, better than that, it meant I could start being me and doing things I'd always wanted to. It gave me a safe place to go just 'be' gay, however ridiculous that sounds - Anon, Way Out (LGBT Youth Group)

My friend has come out - what can I do to support them?

When a friend comes out to you as LGBTQIA+, you might have lots of feelings. You might feel surprised, that you didn't know sooner! But what your friend needs is for you to:

Listen
Support
Understand and be happy for them

It's fine to ask questions, but respect it when they don't want to answer. Everyone's journey is different!

This video can be really helpful if you want to ask questions, but aren't sure if they're too personal. In it people who are trans give answers to questions people have asked on Google about being trans.